Marriage. Seems like it should be easy and effortless, but most of the time its not. I have been married twice, and gone through one heck of a nasty seperation and divorce. I dont talk about my first marriage much because there isnt much to say, we were both young and immature and things just didnt end well. Things still arent good and we have been divorced over 5 years now.
When I got remarried I swore that this time would be it, this would be the one I wouldnt ever give up on. We have had some trials and tribulations during our almost 5 years married. (yes I got married only 3 months after my divorce) There have been times where he wanted to call it quits and times where I wanted to also but we stuck together. Honestly sometimes I dont know how we did it, there was a lot stacked against us.
I came into the relationship damaged, with two small children (who werent with me at the time) and with a whole lot of baggage. I felt pretty unlovable some days, but he loved me. He was my strength and my sturdy rock in the center of my turbulant ocean. He was the polar opposite of me (still is) he is calm, collected, responsable, and has so much confidence and drive sometimes its hard to keep up. He is forever working to make our family stay afloat and I love him every single day for it.
When we started to fall apart it came like a huge crashing wave, there was so much stress I thought we were surely going to implode. I was pregnant, we had just bought a home, and my kids came back to me permanately. It was a huge change for him, going from single military guy mode, drinking every weekend and eating junk, getting to come and go as he pleased. Then getting all this responsibility shoved onto him just wasnt fair. I understood completely what was wrong but stood helplesly while I watched our world crumble underneath us. I felt lost and alone and it hurt.
We argued every day, things were so tense and scary. I honestly didnt know what we were going to do. But then I remembered I made a promise that I wouldnt give up without a fight this time, so I faught. I came out swinging, resolved that this wasnt going to pull us down. Together we would make it though, and I am proud to say that was 3 years ago and we are still making it work. It hasnt been easy, there have been fights and days of silent grumbling. But we are both trying every day to make it work.
Marriage isnt always easy, but it is woth the fight. Learn to pick your battles, give in when you can. Learn to love yourself as much as you love your partner and if its what you want you will do whatever it takes to make it work.